So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
