You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
