I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
