Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize