Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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