And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Small penises have feelings too.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
