is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
