Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
