Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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