That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
