I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
