I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
