went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
