Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize