So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
