i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
