Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
