Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
