dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the night ended with taco bell and tears
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am naked and annoyed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
