I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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