Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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