I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize