worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
