the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
