No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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