She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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