Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
