I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
