Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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