if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
