tell your sister to shave her snatch
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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