do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize