I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
