His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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