I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
