I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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