I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
