just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
