New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize