The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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