do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize