got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize