that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
