I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
