Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
