We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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