So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Oh god it's open bar.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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