Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
