I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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