they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
