it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So much rum. So many feels.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
