I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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