she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
