If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
