Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
do herpes really smell.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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