break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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