I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
