You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
