I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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