im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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