even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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