So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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