i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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