I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
