I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
