I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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