I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
